Aladdin
by Megpie The Great
Summary: From the maniac who brought you Christmas, X-Men Style comes a humerous X-Men rendition of Aladdin! I proimsed another humor fic, and here it is. Vega:GOD HELP US!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kurt:Ve're all gonna die!!!!!!!!!
1. Prologue

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kurt:Oh god, help us!!  
  
Scott:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Jean:We're still recovering from Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Anyway, I'm forcing the X-Men and the Brotherhood to do Aladdin!!!!!!!! Can anyone guess my characters?  
(Sceen opens with a figure riding a camel through the desert)  
  
Figure:*Oh I come from a land  
From a faraway place  
Where the caravan camels rove  
Where it's flat and emense  
And the heat is instense  
It's barbaric, but, hey, it's home  
When the wind's from the east  
And the sun's from the west  
And the sand and the glass is right  
Come on down, stop on by  
Hop a carpet and fly  
To another Arabian night*  
  
(The figure comes into focus to reveal Charles Xavier)  
  
Xavier:*Arabian nights  
Like Arabian Days  
More often than not  
Are hotter than hot  
In a lot of good ways*  
  
(A huge palace comes into view, along with a city just as the sun's setting)  
  
Xavier:*Arabian nights  
Eat Arabian moons  
A fool off his guard  
Could fall and fall hard  
Out there on the dunes*  
  
(The camel collapses and Xavier slides off)  
  
Xavier:Aah, Salomn and good evening worthy friends. Please, please come closer. (camera slams into his face) Too close, a little to close (camera zooms out) Ah, there. Welcome to Agrabah, city of mystery, (grabs and huggs his camel's face) echantment, (speeds up talking) and the finest merchandise on sale today, (pulls this booth full of junk out of a bag on the camel's back) come on down. Look at this (grabs an obvious piece of junk) this is a combination hooka and coffee maker, also makes chile and fries! Will it break? (Hits the booth with it a few times, and it falls apart) It broke. (throws the junk away and grabs a box) Ooh, look at this! I have never seen one of these intact before. This is the famous dead sea tupperware. (Opens it slightly and spits to one side) Ah, still good.  
  
(Camera starts to move away)  
  
Xaveier:Wait, don't go! I can that you're interested in the exceptionally rare. I believe you would be most rewarded to consider this. (pulls out a gold lamp) Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what's outside, (takes off the top and looks inside the lamp) but inside that counts.  
  
(Camera starts moving away again)  
  
Xavier:This is no ordinary lamp!! It once change the course of a young man's life, a young man who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed. The diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale? (He pours some sand out of the lamp) It begins on a dark night.  
  
(He throws the sand into the sky, which turns into stars. The city vanishes and a vast desert takes its place.)  
  
Xavier:(Bodyless voice) Where a dark man waits, with a dark purpose.....  
  
(Scott, dressed like a theif, jumps off the back of a short, stump horse. Before him Magneto sits on the back of a black stallion with a Peitro turned parrot on his shoulder.)  
  
Magneto:You are late  
  
Scott:A thousand pardons, oh patient one  
  
Magneto:You have it then?  
  
Scott:I had had to slit a few throats, but (reaches into his shirt and pulls out half of a gold scarab) I got it.  
  
(Magneto reaches for it, but Scott pulls away)  
  
Scott:Ah ah ah, (shakes a finger at him) the treasure?  
  
(Pietro flies off Scott's shoulder and grabs the scarab, then gives it to Magneto)  
  
Magneto:Trust me my pungent friend, you'll get what's coming to you.  
  
Peitro:*Squak* What's coming to you!  
  
(Magneto puts the two scarab halves together. It begins glowing and flying like a real scarab, then takes off into the dunes.)  
  
Magneto:Quickly! Follow the trail!! (He takes off after the scarab, with Scott and Pietro close behind) FASTER!!!  
  
(The scarab spilts and the two halves land on a sand dune. Suddenly the ground begins shaking and a giant Sabertooth head, completely made of sand, erupts from the ground)  
  
Magneto:At last, after all my years of searching, the cave of wonders  
  
Peitro:Ack, cave of wonders  
  
Scott:Great Allah!  
  
Magneto:(grabs Scott by the collar) Now, remember, bring me the lamp, the rest of the treasure is yours, but the lamp is mine  
  
(Scott approaches the giant head, hubbing his hands together wickedly)  
  
Pietro:*squak* the lamp! *squak* the lamp! (lowers his voice) Jeez, where'd you pick this bozo up?  
  
Magneto:Shh  
  
Sabertooth:Who disturbs my slumber?  
  
(Scott looks into the mouth and a staircase of sand forms going deep into its bowls) Vega:That sounded VERY VERY wrong SHUT UP!! (Sabertooth lets out a breath, sending Scott flying)  
  
Scott:It is I, Scott, the humble theif (He bows politely)  
  
Sabertooth:Know this: only one may enter here, one whose worth is found far within, the diamond in the rough  
  
(Scott looks back)  
  
Magneto:What are you waiting for? Go on!  
  
(Scott nods and walks shakily into the beast's mouth. He takes one shaky step down the stairs. Nothing happens. He lets out a sigh of releif then Sabertooth lets out a lound roar and begins to close his mouth. Scott screams and tries to escape, to no avail. Sbertooth's head became a sand dune once again.)  
  
Sabertooth:Seek thee out the diamond in the rough  
  
(His voice echoes through the desert. Magneto and Peitro, who'd gotten buried by sand ealier, erupt from their premature burial spots, Pietro choking on sand.)  
  
Pietro:I can't believe it! I just don't believe it. We are never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp. (He picks up the two scarab peice and begings pulling out feathers) Just forget it! Look at this! Look at this, I'm so ticked off that I'm molting  
  
Magneto:Patience Pietro, patience. Scott was obviously less than worthy.  
  
Pietro:Oh, there's a big suprise! That's an incrdi......... I'm think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from not suprise. What are we gonna do? We got a big problem a very big...  
  
Mgneto:(Clamps Pietro's mouth shut with his hand) Yees, only one my enter. We must find this one, this, diamond in the rough.  
Well, that's done, now how many more chapters to go?  
  
Vega:I don't want to know  
  
Anyway, I promised another humor fic, and here it is!  
  
Pietro:YOU TURNED ME INTO A BIRD!!!!!!!! A STUID PARROT!!!!!! WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE DONE THAT TO MYSTIQUE?! OR DANIELS?!  
  
Because, you're just so fun to torment. Anyway, Todd Fan's the one who gave me this idea. She's doin' a X-Men Beauty and The Beast, and, one day, I was watching Aladdin and this brilliant idea popped into my head  
  
Rogue:Oh yeah, brilliant  
  
Disclaimer:I've lost my mind 


	2. HELP!

Ok, this is not a chapter, sorry, but I need help.  
  
Yuga:It's about time  
  
Shut up Yuga, she thinks I'm crazy, what the heck gave her that idea?  
  
Yuga:Oh, I don't know, maybe because you're doing stuff like his! *points to the twenty or so fics my cousin, neice, and I are working on*  
  
Will you go away? Anyway, what I need: Who should I have play Aladdin and Jasmine?  
  
Lance/Kitty  
  
Toad/Wanda  
  
Kurt/Amana  
  
My writing partner, Cynthia, and I have been fighting over this for weeks, HELP! I've been leaning towards Lance/Kitty, but, you decide THanks 


	3. sorry

I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so  
  
Two hours later  
  
so so so so sorry I haven't updated in a long time. Let me explain: First, I get hit wit writer's block for to weeks, then, when I've FINALLY got something to publish, our house gets hit by lighning and te router for our internet blows out. We finally get a new router a month later, and it's the wrong kind! So, take another month, we finally get the right router, and the internet STILL won't work! Then, if thing's weren't bad enough, I have to go to Tortola for a week, it was BOOOORING and they had no internet acess. And, guess what the icing on the cake was, my brainless best friend put my laptop under the footrest of my favorite recliner to read my Harry Potter fic, it'll be a while before I get that up, and I didn't know about it! Any guesses as to what happened? My mother called me into the kitchen, and I closed the footrest on my laptop! The screen was totaled! Now I have to pay fifty dollars for a new screen, Cynthia's refusing to help pay for it, and m internet's STILL down! That's why I haven't published anything in forever, please please please don't kill me! I've gotten a lot of work done on my fics and as soon as my laptop come sback from the repair shop I'll put all my fics on a floppy and get to the library, where I am right now, and publish them, I swear on my Harry Potter books! Oh, and something else, school starts September 2 second for me, my mother's finally letting me go back to public school (I've been in a christian academy since fourth grade and i hated my teachers) so I might not be able to update much even when the internet does get fixed. well, anyway, that's my story, and I swear on the Bible that it's true. I promise I'll post as soon as I can. Once again, I am So so so  
  
two hours later  
  
so so so sorry! 


End file.
